It's Beyond Me: Playing Hide & Seek

A few weeks ago while we were staying at my mom's house (107 degree weather and no a/c at home) my children started up a game of hide & seek.

I've been so busy lately - and so have they - that I haven't really had an opportunity to watch them play. And let's be honest... with four kids born within 4 1/2 years, it isn't very often that they can play together without some attempt at bodily harm.

It was a lovely afternoon and it was so nice to enjoy the fun part of being a mom, but it got me thinking... how often have I played hide & seek with God?

Sometimes it feels as though God has hidden Himself from me. I can't hear Him. I can't feel Him. He seems silent, aloof and uncaring. I know that isn't true, but it sure feels that way.

I've felt that way a lot lately. Where are You God?, I wonder.

Tell me Lord, why can't I see You? It hurts to feel alone and abandoned by God. Jesus Himself knew that. But are we really alone?

Psalm 13:1&2
1How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph
over me?

But then I realize that even when it feels like God is hiding, I still need to seek Him. Sometimes the reason God is silent is so we will seek Him. It is the endurance and perseverance in the face of God's silence that builds our faith.

Lamentations 3:25 & 26
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Then there are those times when I foolishly try to hide from God. I'm angry, petulant, guilty... and I try to hide. Or I'm ashamed. Like Adam and Eve, I feel naked and want to hide from Him.

Sometimes my shame is justified - I've sinned and I know it, but I'm too stubborn to beg for forgiveness. Sometimes my shame is misplaced - old sins that have been long-forgiven that I still bring out to beat myself up with... or old abuses I can't let go that hinder my freedom in Christ.

But God knows.

Jeremiah 23:24
Can anyone hide in secret places
so that I cannot see him?"
declares the LORD.
"Do not I fill heaven and earth?"
declares the LORD.

It is in these times that God seeks us. He leaves the 99 sheep in the fold and hunts us down. He finds us, breaks our legs and carries us back where we belong. He brings us home. We are His treasure and He wants us, even when we stray. Even when we hide.

Psalm 119:176
I have strayed like a lost sheep.
Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.

There is a better way.

We can hide ourselves IN God. He can be the place we run to instead of the One we run from. He can be our shelter from the world and everything in it that tries to shake us.

It's hard for me to see Him that way. It shouldn't be, but sometimes it is. Even though I know better, it's hard to trust Him. I have "reasons" not to, and yet He's always there waiting. He understands my struggle. He understands my hurt.

And He shields me from it.

When I run to His arms and rest in them, that pain falls away. The shame, the hurt, the sin, the mistrust all pales in comparison to His measureless love for me. He has delivered me from my past, and seeks to turn my ashes into incomparable beauty.