Oh the drama!

Have you ever noticed that aluminum can lids are exactly the same size as kitchen sink drains?

Probably not. These things only happen to me.

A few days ago I was merrily (dear God, don't strike me down for that lie) scraping and rinsing the dishes (seven people's worth) after the kids were in bed and all of a sudden the sink stops draining. Thinking it is food built up in the disposal I flip the switch... and flip it right back off when it makes this strange sound. And the sink does NOT drain. Panic sets in. My disposal is VITAL. I swear. It is.

Now, I'm a pretty handy person, and can fix just about everything around the house, but tearing apart an insinkerator is not exactly on my top-ten list of things to do with my Spring Break.

I reach my hand down into the murky (did I mention there are SEVEN people living in my house), food-filled water and squished around till I hit something solid.

One of my darling helpers rinsed the green bean cans for recycling just like I asked them to... but left them in the sink. One of the lids, with its nice, neat edges courtesy of my Tupperware can opener, floated down into the drain, and wouldn't you know, it was a perfect fit! Not only was the can lid blocking the drain, but when I turned on the disposal it suctioned the thing in good and tight.

Part of me is relieved -at least temporarily- because this means there's nothing actually wrong with my disposal. The other part is at a loss... how in the world do I extricate a can lid that is wedged in tighter than the security at Fort Knox?

Ok. Before you think "well, you could use a plunger" let me say that I thought of that. And there is NO WAY I am putting one of my well-used (my kids and goddaughter plug the toilets often, have I mentioned SEVEN people???) toilet plungers in my kitchen sink. ::::blelelelelele:::: I get cold slimy shivers up my back just thinking about it. Do you have any idea what lives on those things??

And because I was the only adult home with the aforementioned sleeping children a quick run to the store was out of the question. After trying a million and one things I finally pried it out by sacrificing one of my steak knives....
....
....
And discovered there was another one directly underneath.

Oh, the drama that is my life. =)

The Best Laid Plans....

The story of my life is right there in that title. I have all sorts of plans for my life and I run along on my merry way expecting things to work out exactly as I have planned them - only I have also left God out of the equation. Then, as Lisa said, He throws a wrench in the gears... and life comes to a screeching halt.

*note: its taken me over a week to finish this. Tough one.

1. I am going to present to you a little acrostic to begin our discussion today. What is your latest NLIP? (Not Like I Planned?)

Hmm... there have been many. I suppose the most recent has been my job situation. As I've said in an earlier post, I enjoy my work very much, but it has left me feeling restless. I made all these plans to find a job that better suited my vocational goals after my graduation in December. I filled out a dozen applications and was certain that I'd be hired. My family's financial needs also played a part. My ex wasn't (still isn't) paying child support and I wasn't able to pay my bills. I was quickly approaching real financial trouble and *I* was going to figure a way out of it. Ha! I'm still in the same job, and my financial needs were met (almost to the penny) by a raise due to a contract renegotiation. I also discovered that God had placed me there for such a time as this.

2. How did you react to your NLIP? Are you still upset about it? Happy about it? Baffled by it? Explain.

I was pretty panicked over it actually... and very discouraged. I'm not upset about it now, but I still feel restless. I am still impatient for what God has planned for me. And no, I am NOT going to pray for patience. =)

3. Have you ever attempted to step into an area of ministry and found your desire rejected? Did this cause you to question God and yourself? Perhaps distrust what you perceived to be your calling?

I've received a LOT of opposition in my current position at church because of my "family situation." People have judged me and my circumstances without ever asking for my side of the story. Almost everyone, even close friends, told me I couldn't handle the position. Very discouraging, but God put this ministry in my heart and I will serve Him in it until HE moves me elsewhere.

Then there's this lifetime calling... my best friend in the world, who I just assumed would be supportive, really hasn't been. However, my doubts aren't from without but from within. I am my own worst enemy... with a little bit of help from another "enemy" as well.

4. Do you harbor any bitterness towards any individual or situation which you believe waylaid your best laid plans?

Hmm... sometimes. I know that sounds disingenuous but I don't know how to explain it. There are moments when I am overwhelmed by bitterness... but they don't last long, and I'm not even sure they're coming from me (does that make sense?).

I still struggle with bitterness/anger toward my ex. The hurt there is so deep and so ugly... and it is so hard to heal because, well... when you have a wound and you keep picking at it, it never does heal, does it?

Mostly I blame myself. I have the scars to prove it.

5. Have you had a life experience or trial that left you with a shaken faith because it ended in an NLIP? Please share if you feel free.

Oh boy have I ever. I never wanted my marriage to fall apart. I never wanted to be labeled a "battered woman." I never wanted to be a single mom to four children with hurts I can't fix; hurts I should have prevented. I could list a thousand things about my life over the last decade that didn't turn out as planned. And yes, I lost faith because of it. God is gracious though, and faithful, even when we aren't. Now, my faith is stronger for it. Would I go back and undo it all? I don't know.

5. Based on Moses' response of faith to his own rejection, how will you re-evaluate your own experiences or look at future ones differently if a NLIP presents itself?

Hmm... Something to think on. Not something I have an answer for yet.

The Natives are Restless

Spring has sprung swiftly and all through the halls
the children are shrieking
and running up walls

Spitballs are flying, and fists flying too
the natives are restless
the school is a zoo

The playground is soggy, the swings are in knots
the classrooms are bursting
with teens, tweens and tots

Prepared for vacation and all of its joys
freedom for girls, YES!
and freedom for boys

The teachers are pulling the hair from their heads
and dreaming of mornings
at home in their beds

Sleeping past sunrise, lounging in sweats
enjoying the silence... ah!
that's as good as it gets

One day will pass, and then a whole bundle
the buses will come
and back they'll all trundle

To classrooms so crowded, break's over too soon.
Now the teachers and students
are praying for June!

A Lady's Desire...

So here I am again... I took a week's break - the stress of last week is my excuse - but I'm back at it. Is it a blessing or a curse when you seem to get the same message from every possible angle?

1. It was stated in the Lesson that God has made you "once, twice, three times a lady." Where are you in this progression? Obviously we have all been physically born, but are you 'twice a lady'? Have you been born again spiritually? This may be a private matter you'd like to discuss confidentially. If so, email me. If you have already received this gift, write a brief prayer of thanksgiving or testimony.

Saved from myself and my sin by God's grace alone. I was broken, I was lost, and I was alone and then God "grabbed me up" out of the despair I was living in and loved me enough to forgive those things I still struggle to forgive myself for. I'll post a more thorough testimony later.

2. Are you three times a lady? Has God given you a stirring deep within your Spirit to be a 'deliverer'? Do you have a desire or are you already meeting a need in the life of the church, a particular ministry (such as jail ministry, food ministry, etc.) or perhaps individuals who share common issues?

Oh boy do I have the desire. Sometimes it feels like it is burning so brightly inside me that I'm going to go blind from the wanting. And now my fingers are in knots trying to express this. As I've said in an earlier post, I'm discovering God's plan for me where I am now, but I also know He has a great deal more in store for me.

3. Do you ever get tired of waiting for that opportunity to do something
worthwhile for God? Do you ever feel God is using someone else instead of you?

Tired of waiting? Puh-lease. I have "impatience" tattooed across my forehead. I HATE waiting. I can't even express how much I do not like to wait for anything, much less something I want this badly.

4. What do you consider 'worthwhile ministry'? Are you like me and sometimes find yourself mistakenly thinking it has to be Big to be Important?

Worthwhile ministry? Everything is worthwhile and brings glory to God if we intend that it should. I haven't always thought that way and I have to admit it is more difficult to think that way about myself.

5. Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test? If yes, what are yours? If no, here's a good one from Ephesians 4 Ministry. Will you take it and come back with a response? Knowing some of you like I already do, I can almost pick out what your gift is before you say it. I can't wait to see if I'm right!

Hmm... shepherding, exhortation, teaching & mercy... all within a point or two of each other. Would you believe that the absolute LAST thing I ever wanted to do was teach? Heh. God always has plans that are different from ours, doesn't He? I love teaching now, though I still find myself doing a mental double-take when I realize I'm actually helping other adults learn more about God.