God hates divorce...

Mal 2:16 "I hate divorce, " says the LORD God of Israel.

And in approximately two weeks my divorce will be finalized. This is something I've wrangled with in earnest for the last three years. I walked into the courthouse yesterday and made sure every "i" was dotted and every "t" was crossed to bring a swift and sure close to this saga. I want to be done.

God hates divorce. It is messy and hurtful and the only reason He allows it at all is because of the hardness of human hearts. And I admit, my heart is hard - brittle and breaking, but hard as a rock. I can say it now, though I denied it for a long time - it would have taken an act of God for me to take him back.

Maybe I don't have enough faith that God can fix anything. Maybe I don't really believe God can heal all wounds. I don't know. What I do know is I want to close this chapter and move on.

You know what else I know? That oft-quoted verse from Malachi doesn't end there.

Mal 2:16 "I hate divorce, " says the LORD God of Israel."and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD
Almighty.

God hates divorce. God also hates the violence that infected my family. He hates every bruise, every drop of blood, every broken bone, every tear shed. He hates the fear my children and I lived with. He hates the broken trust. He hates the fear and abuse in my husband's past that taught him his fists were the way to deal with his family.

But He doesn't hate my husband. Sometimes, I used to wish He did. I wished that God would bring His full fury down on my husband's head and punish him - make him suffer. I had a right to feel that way, didn't I? But I don't want that anymore, because I don't hate him either. Maybe that's what forgiveness is about?

The verse ends this way:

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Amen.