Yes, more in the melodramatic saga of my recent trips into insanity...
At some point in the last few weeks - past experiences to the contrary - I decided that perhaps my life was such a miserable stinkhole because I left my husband. I thought that maybe things have been so difficult over the last four years because God was punishing me. Maybe it would all stop if I just went back.
"Maybe I did make it up... or overexaggerate... or miscommunicate...."
Maybe things would get better if I just went back.
In the wee hours of Wednesday morning I learned how foolish that thinking had been.
I'm physically ok. I put myself in an impossible situation with very few options. I got hurt, but not in a way that can really be quantified. Whatever choices I didn't have, I made plenty of choices to get there. And then, to my complete embarrassment, I had to call someone for a rescue at 3 o'clock in the morning who I swore I'd never turn to again.
Something else I learned... friendships can change drastically, but that doesn't mean they should end entirely. Some people will be there no matter how stupid you've been - no matter how badly you've messed up. Those people are priceless.
I'd be crazy to throw that away.
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