Standing in the rain...

I live in Oregon and if you know anything about Oregon, you know it rains here. A lot. That's why it's so green and beautiful - especially on those days when it isn't raining.

It hasn't really rained a whole lot in the last week, but I'm kind of wishing it had. There's something cleansing about standing in the rain - OK, maybe you have to be a native Oregonian to think that. But any hoo... right now, standing outside in the rain sounds really good.

I can't believe I'm praying for rain.

And before you think it, I'm not in crisis. I'm ok.
I'm just sad. And tired. And a bit overwhelmed.
I have a lot on my plate right now and it feels unending.
I really want to cry or throw a tantrum, but I don't feel like there's an appropriate time or place to do that...

I have responsibilities that can't wait for a tantrum. Expectations I have to meet. Obligations I have to fulfil. Every time I turn around it seems like there's something else.

Extra responsibilities at work, a mountain of dishes that didn't get done waiting for me when I get home from work at 1am, field trips to pay for, an ever-increasing pile of bills that aren't being covered by my paycheck, a yard that I've let get completely out of hand that I have to clean up by next Tuesday or get evicted, uncomfortable therapy homework, calls home from the school, kids home from school for head lice (ICK!!), helping my kids sort through their feelings about their dad's upcoming move 3,000 miles away (without revealing my absolute JOY that he's leaving), and did I mention bills I can't pay? :::sigh:::

Where's that rain?

All that said, I really am ok. Overwhelmed, but ok.
Feels good.

Given my current mood, this song seems pretty apropos.

Stand in the Rain ~ Superchick

She never slows down.

She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone,

feels like its all coming down

She won't turn around

The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear,

the tears will not stop raining down

[CHORUS]

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound

Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering

if she stands she'll fall down

She wants to be found

The only way out is through everything she's running from

wants to give up and lie down.

[CHORUS]

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

Standing.
The rain passes... the storm ends... and I'll still be standing.
Whether I feel I can make it or not, whether I feel righteous or not, whether I feel like I can stand or not, God has made me righteous in His sight. God has promised He will help me stand.

When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever. Proverbs 10:35

In the rain. In the sun. I'll stand.
I'll tantrum and cry and stand through the storms that come my way.
I'll stand through the hard, confusing, overwhelming stuff I'm working through. There's a reason for it. There's purpose and meaning. And there's a promise at the end.

Crying may last for the night; but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

Yup.
I'll stand.

I won't be swept away in this.

I can stand.