The Giveaway

I know I promised Beth Moore, but I currently have a bug up my butt about a different topic altogether (thank you to Sheryl from The Perch for calling this topic to mind)... and since this is my blog. Deal. =)

One of the most sacred of all practices in Native American culture is the giveaway – a tradition where those who are being honored for some reason (wedding, birthday, award, etc.), or the families of those who are being mourned give gifts rather than receive them.

They believe that sharing with others only confirms how richly you have been blessed - and the more you have, the more you should give away.

Native Americans also believe that when you make something with your hands, a piece of you is carried with it. You are meant to give those pieces of self to others – the first and the best of what you have made being the most important to give away. Because, after all, what is given will always come back to you as good - in one form or another.

Now, before you think I'm getting all pagan on you... please understand that there have been Native American who follow Christ - and who seek to use their traditions to honor Him - for the last 500 years (And throughout history, Christianity has been known to absorb and incorporate other traditions). The two are not mutually exclusive.

Many Native Americans believe that the truth of Jesus Christ is consistent with the message the Creator had already been revealing to their people through creation.

In Romans 1:20 we see that God has revealed Himself from the beginning of time through what was made.

20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

And like the people in Athens in Acts 17:23-27, perhaps the Native Americans were worshipping an Unknown God and were just waiting to hear His name.

23For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you
worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you.
24"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. 25And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. 26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 28'For in him we live and move and have our being...'

And really, isn't the "giveaway" central to Christianity too?

After all, the one who deserves all honor and glory and all the gifts we can lavish on Him has instead given us the greatest gift of all - His own Son.

And, the last half of Luke 12:28 says:

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

We, who have been given so much, should be giving those blessings away.

Native Americans believe that hoarding your talents, your time and your treasures is one of the most dishonorable things any person can do. By doing so, you cheapen everything you do and your blessings turn to ruin. Christians should believe the same.

Now, back to the giving away of the first and best... as I step off the spiritual pedastal and on to a more personal one (sort of).

I work with Native American teenagers in a culturally-based residential treatment program. A couple Sundays ago I worked late and was actually able to partipate in an art group. During that art group the whole concept of giving things away was explained to me. It was expected that the first thing I made with that group must be given away.

One of the Native staff knew that my pastor was in the hospital and that he is important to me. He suggested that my pastor would be the most appropriate recipient of my first creation. It sounded like a great idea - after all, I was feeling helpless and there was nothing I could do for him other than pray. A creative outlet was just what I needed.

Seemed great... that is, until I finished.



Then I felt foolish. And childish. And silly. I mean, how many grown women (or men) make completely impractical gifts for anyone but their children or perhaps their parents? Especially when said gift is a sentimental trinket of questionable quality?

For 12 days now this gift has sat on my shelf gathering dust because I question its value as a gift - and my value as the giver. I don't want to give it if I can't be sure he'll like it.

Aren't we just like that with the Gospel too?

Sometimes we are so afraid of how the truth of Christ will be received that we fail to share it at all. After all, if our friends and family don't like Him, and don't like hearing about Him, they probably won't like us either. Right?

And maybe, we think, the world doesn't value the Truth. Maybe, we think, we aren't a good enough sculptor of words to share the Word. Maybe, we think, there isn't any part of us that is good enough to give this kind of Gift. By "we" I mean "I".

Oh, the pride and the cowardice. On both counts.

Even now I'm taking the coward's way out - because my pastor reads my blog. He'll read what I wrote, and see the picture, and perhaps he'll have mercy on me and say, "It's great! I love it! Bring it on over." (No Mark, I am NOT asking you to do that, you'll get it or not in my own sweet time thankyouverymuch).

The Native Americans have an answer for this too. It is not the worldly value of the gift or the quality of the workmanship that makes the gift a blessing. It is the spirit in which the gift is given. What matters is our desire to give it away.

If we are too afraid or embarrassed to share the Gospel, perhaps others might think we are afraid and embarrassed OF the Gospel. Wouldn't that be tragic?

I Nearly Missed It...

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you've spent much time on my blog, chances are you know I left my husband because he was abusive.

I go through periods of talking about it and not talking about it. I go through seasons where it hits harder than others.

This is one of those seasons.

My husband attends my church and we have four children together. There is no avoiding him. I live in the house I was abused in. There's no avoiding it. Being at home all day, every day, certainly contributes to the problem. It was easier to feel strong when I wasn't utterly dependent on other people. (Yes, I know there's a spiritual lesson in this).

And yes, I'm dwelling. Grrr

Anyway.

When I started researching DV it surprised me how much I didn't know. I had been a victim, but I was still blind to the realities of abuse in the home. So in an attempt to educate, and in honor of the occasion, I'm reposting something from July '07:

Every year over one and a half million women face abuse at the hands of their domestic partner. One in five will experience domestic violence at some point in her life. A third of all women will experience verbal abuse. Maybe you're thinking "that's so sad, but it doesn't happen in my community and certainly not in my church."

Think again.

Take a moment and look around you in church next Sunday. Someone you know, love and consider a sister in Christ might go home with a man who hurts her. She may be cursed at, threatened, raped or beaten by someone who sits in the same pew, sings the same hymns and reads the same Bible as you do. Look around and see the faces of the abused, and the abusers.

I was one of those faces.

Not only did my church not help me, they condemned me for being a victim. Obviously I needed to submit more. Obviously I needed to pray harder. Obviously I needed to be a better housekeeper, wife, mother, etc. Obviously there was some kind of sin in my life that was leading God to punish me through my husband. Obviously... NOT.

If you're reading this right now and you're in a violent relationship, let me make this very clear:
There is NOTHING you did to cause this.
You do NOT deserve it.
It is NOT God's plan for marriage

Dear one, you are a precious and beloved Child of God and He weeps for you. Get help. Please.

If you are reading this right now and you think it could never happen in your church, among your friends, let me make this very clear:
Statistics say you're wrong.
Domestic violence is not confined to the poor, the addicted or the unchurched.
It is not confined to those who are not saved.

There are genuinely-Christian men who beat their wives.

Thankfully, God eventually led me to a church family that was willing to see my pain and do something about it. Not everyone is so blessed. There are more churches like my first than there are like my second and the Christian community should be ashamed.

We must call sin a sin and we must be willing to take a stand. We sit in our homes and our pews and pretend that domestic violence isn’t our problem. The reason Christian men continue to abuse and degrade their spouses is because we allow them to.

Unless we are willing to be a voice for the helpless within our own Body, it is impossible for us to be a voice for the helpless in the world.

Have we forgotten?

Seven years seems like such a long time, doesn't it?

Seven years ago I lived in Maryland, just 20 minutes from D.C.

My youngest son is seven years old. He was just over nine weeks old when I woke up that morning and turned on the TV.

I NEVER watched the news that early in the morning.

And there was Peter Jennings, just seconds after the first plane struck the north tower, speculating about a tragic airplane crash... thinking it was an accident.

Until, as he was speaking, the live feed showed another plane plow into the south tower. I sat, stunned, as I watched the towers burn, watched as reports came in saying there was an explosion at the Pentagon, watched as the towers collapsed. I watched in horror as they showed video of people jumping from impossible heights to escape burning buildings. And, as news of the crash of United 93 broke, I prayed that our military hadn't been forced to make the terrible choice of shooting down a passenger plane.

At some point I called my parents in Oregon. My dad answered the phone, groggy because I'd woke them up and I said, "Turn on the TV Daddy, we're under attack."

The world turned upside down. I looked down at my two month old son and I wondered how much of life he would get to live. I looked at my older two children, 2 1/2 and 19 months old, and wondered what kind of future they would have. I wondered things that had never crossed my mind before that morning - things I would never have believed possible on the day before our world changed.

Over the next few months, I saw the best and worst in people. I saw people going out of their way to help others in whatever way possible. And I saw people exhibiting the ugliness of racism.

I sat in a women's retreat in October and listened to devout Christian women spew hatred and suggest that every Arab-American should be placed indefinitely in internment camps "for the safety of Americans."

Umm... they ARE Americans. In fact, the majority of Muslims in our country aren't ethnically Arabic. And the majority of people in the US who are ethnically Arabic are actually Christians who came here to escape persecution in the Middle East. But enough of that soap box.

Our world has changed irrevocably and there is very little in our daily lives that isn't touched by the events of seven years ago.

But people forget.

Just like Israel forgot.

Just like Christians seem to forget.

Even though we've experienced something earth-shattering and life-changing... We grumble and complain at the "restrictions" that have been put on us. Even though they are for our benefit - for our safety.

As Americans we chafe at the neck to thread barefoot through checkpoints at the airport or face extra security at the bank. It is all so inconvenient.

We forget that seven years ago 19 men stole or fabricated identities, made use of American dollars and American technologies, and with nothing more than box cutters brought our entire nation to a screeching halt.

As Christians we complain about the "rules" and rebel against the things we should do. We watch the TV we want to watch, no matter how much it corrupts our conscience. We eat and shop where we want to, no matter how many sinful practices our dollars support. We throw our time, our votes and our money away without regard to the consequences.

Because taking the moral high ground is inconvenient. Because we've forgotten.

We've forgotten the lives lost to bring the Gospel to us across oceans and centuries. We've forgotten the spiritual danger we are in - and the souls that are lost because of sin and the powers of this present darkness. We have forgotten that the very things we rebel against are those things that keep our spirits filled with the Spirit and free of Satan's control.

My friends, we have it easy, and like Israel of old, when we have it easy we forget how much this "easy" has cost. Remember the price.

Gloria In Excelsis Deo

This lesson really struck me:

Moses had seen God in the wonders, but more important to him was knowing
God in the inmost, private places. Wonders would not be such if they weren't few
and far between. Many believers set themselves up for disappointment by becoming what James MacDonald calls 'Wonders Junkies'. They are so transfixed on the huge displays of God they can't cope during the days of small things.

I have to admit, for a long time I was a "wonder junkie." I craved those mountain top experiences with God so much that I sought another peak to climb over and over and over again. But I avoided the daily walk with Him because it just wasn't exciting enough.

Forgive the analogy, but this thrill-seeking behavior is like sex without intimacy. It can be an amazing experience, and you can become very familiar with your spouse's body and movements and physical needs, but you never get to know their soul. You are more concerned with what they can do (especially for you) than with who they are. You roll out of bed and the connection is over until the next time you get hit with the craving.

Intimacy requires knowing more, knowing deeper. Intimacy is the quiet conversations, the hand-holding, the treasuring of each other that doesn't require those extreme moments to be satisfied. Intimacy is waking up and going through the day with your spouse, even if you do nothing more than yardwork and watch TV. Intimacy is being with that person even when you aren't physically with them. Intimacy is when the real relationship happens.

How many times do we want to be with God only in those moments of excitement and wonder? How many times do we roll out of our beds in the morning and leave God behind as we go about our days? How many times do we use God for the thrills He can give us and then just walk away?

Yes. I said USE. Ouch. Can you hear that 2x4 smacking me upside the head?

Okay, so that wasn't exactly the main idea of this week's study... but it resonated. And now that I've gotten off my soap box, on to the lesson:

1. We discussed how we are God's fame and He is ours. Have you ever been in a
situation where you are applauded for your ministry and had to fight back the
idol of pride? Ever been tempted to believe your own press? It's okay to admit
it! Your testimony will help others in their resolve!

Yes. I used to write a lot, and quite well. I had a lot of pride in my writing. I was convinced that some day I'd write best-sellers and be a famous Christian author. I was prolific - I wrote devotions, op-ed type pieces, poetry, research, etc. I was a Writer and I was good. I was so wrapped up in my own pride that I forgot the Why and the Who of my writing.

Boy did I have a big head. And boy did God put up a block in my path! I got writer's block. So much so that I failed a couple of classes because I could not, no matter how hard I tried, write the papers. I pretty much stopped writing for nearly a decade - and that is no exaggeration.

Sometimes I feel like blog-land is shaky ground for me. What if God allows a full recovery of that gift I abused and I go and misuse it again? School was a hard struggle too. I was constantly battling my need to write for my glory rather than God's. I am sure that will come up again in grad school.

Thankfully, I'm no where near as good anymore, it isn't as easy to find the words. Harder to toot my own horn. =) And yes, the temptation to take the glory when something decent comes off my fingers is very strong... but I know Who gave the words to me, and that they wouldn't be there apart from Him. I'm not called to be a writer, though God may use my writing occasionally, and now I know it.

2. Did it ever occur to you in the 3-way drama of God, Job, and Satan that Satan
was the only one outside the loop as far as Job's reactions would be? Does this
encourage you in resolving to make a fool of him when he attempts to use you to
defame the Name?

Never really thought about it before, but yes it is encouraging. Satan doesn't really know me; he knows what my flesh might want, but he has no way to know the desires and motivations of Christ-in-me. He hasn't a slightest grasp of the power God has put at my disposal. Wow. That's kind of cool. (In same way that a woman is "kind of" pregnant).

3. Are you in a situation now where you feel you are being overcome? Better yet,
are you in a situation where you should have been overcome but are not?

Hmm... yes and yes. The last two and a half years, in a lot of ways, have been more difficult than the seven years I was in the midst of a nightmare marriage. I suppose it is a difference of not knowing anything can change and knowing things can be different but still feeling the bleakness. However, God has given me the strength to weather more than I ever imagined possible. It is still a struggle, but in the end I'm still standing.

4. Have you failed in a Satan-designed trial? Can you recognize God intends for
this failure to refine and resolve you for next time? God is not out for your
destruction but your perfection!

I've failed ALOT. And yes, I can use those failures instead of being used by them. It is a lot harder to forget what God has done for me when I look back and remember the pits He pulled me out of. He has shown me time and time again that He is faithful even when I am not. That goes a LONG way toward strengthening my resolve when I'm under attack.

5. Can you describe yourself as a Wonders Junkie? Found yourself in spiritual
highs and lows depending on whether you perceived God was doing wondrous things
or not?

See soapbox above. =) I am not that person anymore. I'm really enjoying the daily walks and quiet conversations with the King of Kings. The mountain top experiences are great, but they mean more now, with all the quiet moments in between. To loosely quote Rich Mullins, He has been King of my glory AND my Prince of peace.

6. Have you ever been like Philip and had God right in your face and not
recognized Him?

No. Never. (Heh. Sarcasm). Yes. YES. There are so many times when I thought God had left me/failed me and it wasn't until much later that I could see His hand was everywhere in that situation. There were times in my life that were outright bad but they were never as bad as they could have been. I was always provided a way out. I was always forgiven. I was always given an opportunity to redeem those times the locusts have eaten.

7. Journal a brief prayer asking God for His Glory. Let it be the thing we all
desire above all else.....

Lord, make Your glory the desire of my heart and let me see You in every moment of my life rather than just in the wonder and thrill of mountain top experiences. Amen.

Monkey Huntin'

After my own experience with the I AM bible study (see sidebar) and reading the responses of others, I was reminded of an analogy I was told when I was a teenager.

In southeast Asia monkeys are a delicacy and when men want to go monkey hunting they drill a hole the size of a monkey's hand into a gourd, place a treat of fruit inside and tie the gourd to a tree.

Then the monkey comes along and puts his fist in the hole and grabs a hold of the fruit real tight, only to discover he can't get both his hand and the fruit out of the gourd.

Rather than let go of the fruit, the monkey keeps trying and trying to free both his fist and the treat, even when the hunter approaches. No matter what, that monkey just can't let go.

Aren't we just like that?

Whether it be sin or past hurts, Satan knows how to bait that trap well. We put our hand in that hole and grab on. All we have to do to be free is let go - and instead we keep trying to take things with us. Things that inevitably lead to disaster. Things that have no power except the power we give them.

And we just can't let go. We try to pull and push and squeeze these things into our Christian walk when all they're really doing is keeping us trapped. Maybe... just maybe, we can avert disaster and pull that gourd away from the tree and run off... but don't we look silly, trailing something like that behind us?

What's your bait? What keeps you trapped when all you really have to do is let go?

Flutter by...

We have BUTTERFLIES! Lovely little Painted Lady butterflies that started emerging from their chrysalises this morning. =) You'll have to pardon the picture, it was taken through netting by my cell phone camera.

The Special Ed. room I work in got caterpillars a few weeks ago and we've watched their amazing metamorphosis. It just doesn't seem possible that a wriggly, wingless eating machine can turn into such delicate thing of beauty.

I know the butterfly/christianity comparison has been done and overdone... (so bear with me)

The caterpillar's sole purpose in life is a selfish one: it eats. Some even cannibalize their brothers and sisters to ensure their own food supply. They live to consume and destroy.

Butterflies, on the other hand, live to give life. They pollenate the plants that sustain them while they seek the perfect environment to reproduce themselves. That is their function.

And then there is the concept of metamorphosis; a beautiful and apt metaphor.

...BUT I learned something interesting today.

Did you know that in order for a caterpillar to change into a butterfly it must first be completely unmade?

Before the fat little devourer can become a gentle butterfly it must first be reduced into goo. Its body is broken down into a liquid and then remade. There is so little resemblence between the infant and adult that someone who had never heard of or seen the butterfly's lifecycle wouldn't recognize that one came from the other.

Remember that moment when God pulled you from the depths of sin and claimed you as His? Do you remember falling limply at His feet and being reduced to a puddle of goo in the face of His amazing gift? I do.

God unmade me and remade me into something beautiful. He undid everything that I was and turned me into something that could give life instead of take it. He graced me with the task of sharing His amazing gift with others!

And isn't it wonderful that we can be completely unrecognizable?! Who we were before Christ is so radically different from who we are with Him that people who haven't seen us go from point A to point B can hardly believe it is the same person. Talk about amazing grace!

Not only does God change us, He completely unmakes us and our sinful, selfish purposes and then remakes us into new creatures with an entirely new purpose - to give life. HIS life.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Cor. 5:17

The Glue that Wouldn't Stick - And the God that DOES.

I wrote the following nearly two years ago as an expansion on an AWANA object lesson... and it seems as though it was a message intended for me today.

I found it while cleaning out my files and was struck with the way God's Word echoes throughout our lives... and the realization I'm a really slow learner and it takes a long time for a message to get through. So here goes - perhaps it will be a timely message for someone else as well?

In 1968 Dr. Spence Silver invented a new glue. Although the glue was very sticky, it didn’t stay stuck. No matter how much pressure was applied, this sticky glue would come away easily every time even though it maintained its stickiness.

For nearly 10 years this glue was considered a failure by Dr. Silver and the company he worked for. The idea was sound but the product had proved unmarketable. It sat on a shelf in the research department, unused and worthless - or was it?

Then, along came Art Fry, an employee of the same company who was looking for a solution to his frustration. A member of his church choir, he had numerous paper bookmarks in his hymnal but they kept falling out. He tried to hold them in with tape but when he removed them the pages ripped.

This dilemma sent him to Dr. Silver and the research department.

Wouldn't you know, the very thing that made Dr. Silver’s glue a “failure” led to one of the best-known and most popular office products in the world!

The company Dr. Silver and Mr. Fry worked for was 3M and the product they invented was the Post-it-Note. The glue that was considered worthless became 3M's most widely sold product.

Hmm... sound familiar?

On the night of Jesus' arrest Peter was asked three times if he was one of those who was with Jesus. Three times Peter denied him.

As a spokesman for Christ in those moments, Peter was weak, unfaithful... worthless. Imagine how deeply ashamed Peter felt to know that when it really mattered, he failed the One he had named the Christ, Son of the Living God.

He could have given up. The world might say he should have given up.

But he didn't. Despite his shame and despite his failures, he took on the Great Commission and took up the reins of the infant Church. On the day of Pentecost, filled with the Holy Spirit, Peter preached Jesus' message of repentance, forgiveness and salvation.

In one single day, speaking through Peter, God drew thousands of men, women and children into His eternal family. From that day forward, until the day he was martyred, Peter lived and breathed Christ's redemption.

The fallen was lifted up.

The failure was made complete.

If you're anything like me, you've had moments where you think that God could never do with you what he did with Peter. Peter was special. Peter was the ROCK. "Who am I?" we ask, "How could God ever do anything like that with me?"

In our fear of failure, we deny Christ in us. We say, "I do not know Him!" We tell God we do not trust Him.

Perhaps you have sat on a shelf, feeling unused and worthless. A failure. Incomplete. Weak.

Beloved children of the Living God! Ask God who you are to be used by Him!

You are chosen. You are called. You are the reason God descended to earth in human flesh. You are the reason He was nailed to a cross. You are the reason He rose from the grave to conquer sin and death.

You are the bride; loved, valued, bought with a price and cherished above all else. You are His.

Next time you think you aren’t worthy enough to be used by God, remember that God’s power, like Dr. Silver’s glue, succeeds in the very things that we think make us failures.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Gettin' Figgy

Luke 13:6 Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. 7 So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’ 8 " ‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. 9 If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’ "

What is the purpose of the fig tree?

TO PRODUCE FIGS

Now, fig trees bloom and bear fruit before their leaves emerge and they generally produce six to seven crops of fruit per year, unlike most fruiting trees. So the Master wasn't missing out on three harvests of the sweet delicacy, he was missing out on twenty!

This little fig tree reaped all the benefits of life in the Master's vineyard - plenty of fresh air, rich soil, water, fertilizer and tending by an expert gardener. It soaked up everything it was given... and still did not bear figs. This little tree, the very symbol of prosperity, abundance and regeneration, used up everything it was given and produced nothing.

What is our purpose as Christians?

TO PRODUCE CHRISTIANS

We reap all the benefits of life with Christ - salvation through Christ, the Word of God, Christian fellowship, and access to the throne of grace. We soak up everything we are given and yet all too often, we produce nothing.

My friends, WE are the symbols of renewal and regeneration to this lost and dying world we live in. We are the very image of God and reflection of Christ. Our lives are meant to show the abundance of life in Jesus - our branches are meant to bear fruit.

The Master has a right to be angry with the fig tree. Look how much it has been given! Look at everything it has been offered. The Master only asks the tree for one thing - "Fulfil your purpose."

Are you fulfilling your purpose?

Now, lucky for the fig tree (and for us), the gardener says, "let me give this tree a little bit more. Let me dig up the dirt and mix in the stinky stuff that will help it grow. Give her one more year, one more chance before you cut her down." Hallelujah for God's grace and second chances!

As a Christian, your place in heaven is secure, but do you really want to stand before God without a harvest? Do you really want to explain to Him what you did, or didn't do with the gifts you were given?

Lord, I foolishly and arrogantly take Your gifts for granted. I take advantage of all the benefits of Christian life but I know I'm not producing the fruit you mean for me to produce. Forgive my selfishness and cultivate my heart

Fear & Freedom

Fear is a powerful thing. Sometimes it paralyzes us in the face of overwhelming circumstances. Sometimes it propels us to safety. Sometimes it pushes us to our knees before a Holy God.

Paul tells us that as Christians, we are not given a spirit of fear, but one of sonship. (Rom. 8:15) And typically, Christians assume that it means that fear is sinful and a sign of faithlessness.

Not so!

To be more precise, in the NIV, Paul tells us that we did not receive a spirit that makes us slaves again to fear. It is the slavery bit that is significant. A slave is, among other things, someone "entirely dominated by some influence or person."

There is only One thing that should dominate our lives, and He is a jealous God. He will not share his place with anyone or anything; including fear.

Fear guides us and directs us. It can point us toward safety and can point us toward God. It can lead us to options we might not otherwise consider.

However, we cannot let it rule us. It should compel us to seek God's will rather than run from it.

I didn't realize until recently how much I allow fear to rule my life. I don't say things that need to be said because I am afraid I'll make someone mad. I don't do things that need to be done because I am afraid of failure. I don't allow myself to truly heal from my past because I'm afraid of the unknown.

What a tragedy. I have the most powerful Being in the universe on my side and I choose not to do what I know is right because I am afraid.

Dear Lord, too often I let fear master my life and guide my steps. Help me remember I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Thank you for your Word, which reminds me I am free and only You can Master me. Amen.

A Soapbox...

Every year over one and a half million women face abuse at the hands of their domestic partner. One in five will experience domestic violence at some point in her life. A third of all women will experience verbal abuse. Maybe you're thinking "that's so sad, but it doesn't happen in my community and certainly not in my church."

Think again.

Take a moment and look around you in church next Sunday. Someone you know, love and consider a sister in Christ might go home with a man who hurts her. She may be cursed at, threatened, raped or beaten by someone who sits in the same pew, sings the same hymns and reads the same Bible as you do. Look around and see the faces of the abused, and the abusers.

I was one of those faces.

Not only did my church not help me, they condemned me for being a victim. Obviously I needed to submit more. Obviously I needed to pray harder. Obviously I needed to be a better housekeeper, wife, mother, etc. Obviously there was some kind of sin in my life that was leading God to punish me through my husband. Obviously... NOT.

If you're reading this right now and you're in a violent relationship, let me make this very clear:
There is NOTHING you did to cause this.
You do NOT deserve it.
It is NOT God's plan for marriage.
Dear one, you are a precious and beloved Child of God and He weeps for you. Get help. Please.

If you are reading this right now and you think it could never happen in your church, among your friends, let me make this very clear:
Statistics say you're wrong.
Domestic violence is not confined to the poor, the addicted or the unchurched. It is not confined to those who are not saved. There are genuinely-Christian men who beat their wives.

Thankfully, God eventually led me to a church family that was willing to see my pain and do something about it. Not everyone is so blessed. There are more churches like my first than there are like my second and the Christian community should be ashamed.

We must call sin a sin and we must be willing to take a stand. We sit in our homes and our pews and pretend that domestic violence isn’t our problem. The reason Christian men continue to abuse and degrade their spouses is because we allow them to.

Unless we are willing to be a voice for the helpless within our own Body, it is impossible for us to be a voice for the helpless in the world.

If you want more information about how you can help, or if you are in a violent situation and don't know where to turn let me know. I don't have all the answers, but I can point you toward people who do.

Bad things & Good People

Why do bad things happen to good people? It seems to be a universal question... along with "if there's a loving God, why did He allow [insert tragedy of the day]?" Its discouraging, isn't it? This endless stream of bad things happening all over the world... God must be so unfair, we say. God must not care.

But let's talk about fairness and justice for a minute. The wages of sin is death right? Physical death. Eternal death. We work REALLY hard at sinning sometimes... just look at what we've made of our world. Its no wonder we're reaping a whole lot of the death and misery our sin has sown.

Natural consequences. Its not punitive... its a simple if/then scenario. People who get terrible diseases and die aren't usually evil people getting their just deserts; they're simply people reaping the consequences of generations of humanity's disregard of God's laws. Life in a fallen world isn't peaches and cream or sugar and light.

God is a just God. And God laid out guidelines... simple ones really:
Love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
Love your neighbor as yourself.

For Adam and Eve: don't eat from the Tree of Knowledge. How simple is that?? You've got a million trees in a beautiful Garden, and among that million there's just one you can't touch. How hard is that?

Hah! There isn't a single one of us who wouldn't have done the same thing Adam and Eve did. Not a one.

So tell me, how could it be justice if God said, "well, OK, since you're going to sin anyway, you all get a free pass, no one has to pay for it, go about your business. My rules don't matter afterall."? That's like letting a known murderer go free. What's truly ironic is that sometimes our society does just that. WE are not just, so how can we possibly hope to pass judgment on God?

We forget that sin, ALL sin, HURTS people. It hurts our friends, our families - it hurts people we will never know or meet. It hurts ourselves. It HURTS GOD. There is no victimless sin.

Justice says SOMEONE needs to pay for all that hurt we heap upon ourselves. Justice says that even though God made the rules, and it hurts Him to enforce them, He won't bend them or break them. Justice is hard. Justice is unforgiving. True Justice has no loopholes.

But God isn't only Just. God is Gracious. He said, "I gave mankind a simple task and you failed Me, but I've made a covenant with My people, and I will pay the price for your failures." Someone has to. So the one Being who had never tasted the forbidden fruit stood in the place of all of us who have.

The ONLY Being who doesn't deserve death for ANYTHING, died for EVERYONE.

So stop and think for a moment before you complain about God's injustice, ok? Be grateful that every particle of air you breathe, every molecule of your arm you use to take that forbidden fruit is held together by the God you are sinning against.

"For He made Him who knew no sin be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." 2 Corinthians 5:21

Testing... Testing... (James)1:2-3

People say, “God won’t give you anything you can’t handle,” usually accompanied by the implication that He sends you a trial and if you have enough faith you breeze through it and emerge victorious.

But life isn’t always like that. Sometimes you emerge from a trial scarred (and scared), beaten and holding on to your faith only by the thinnest of threads. What matters is that you hold on.

Sometimes you end up repeating “God is faithful” over and over; not out of a joyous expression of faith, but out of a desperate attempt to find that faith again. What matters is that you find it.

And sometimes you just scream, “LIAR!” at the top of your spiritual lungs because you feel like God has failed you and you know you’ve failed Him. What matters is He didn’t.

Truth is, it wouldn't be a TRIAL if it wasn't hard. Beth Moore says that when God asks you to do something hard, He is preparing you for something huge. Should be reassuring, right? But sometimes it just isn't.

Sometimes we find ourselves begging for scraps of bread rather than a huge feast because we can’t or won’t put out the effort needed to make the feast happen. Sometimes we choose to stay in our chains because removing them is hard work and as restricting as those chains are, at least they are easy because they are familiar.

Sometimes we are so tired of trying to do things on our own that we forget we were never meant to be alone in the first place.

God doesn't leave us to muck around in the mire of our lives alone. He comes to us Himself as the indwelling Spirit of God. He has promised to be our counselor, commander and comforter. God doesn't leave us or forsake us. We forsake Him.

We try to prepare the feast without the Master Chef. We try to break our chains without the Master Blacksmith.

Why? Why do we forget God’s promises? Why do we flounder? Why does God let us?

Perhaps because God wants us to surrender. REALLY surrender. He gave us a will and the freedom to choose and He has no intention of taking that will from us. He wants us to CHOOSE to let go and let Him lead. He wants us to CHOOSE to ask for His help.

And this surrendering of the will is never easy. It isn't meant to be. Yes, like a runner who trains and trains for a marathon, we can train our spirits so it is easier to surrender, but we can't make it easy. I don’t believe it ever should be. It is the struggle that strengthens us and gives us a faith that works.

"Consider it all joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2&3

I've grown plenty weary of trials lately. In the last three years I've watched my father die from the ravages of cancer, faced numerous financial difficulties, endured the physical consequences of my husband's infidelity, awakened buried memories of past hurts and devastating choices and I have had to accept the harsh reality that I was a victim of domestic violence.

I have found myself crying out against God and to God more than I ever dreamed possible. I have stumbled, slipped and been shoved head-first into circumstances I was sure would break me. Yet here I am.

God has been faithful even when I haven't. He has succeeded where I have failed. Somehow in all of this I have found the faith I thought was lost to me forever. All I had to do was ask. All I had to do was reach up and take the hand God had been offering all along.