Every year over one and a half million women face abuse at the hands of their domestic partner. One in five will experience domestic violence at some point in her life. A third of all women will experience verbal abuse. Maybe you're thinking "that's so sad, but it doesn't happen in my community and certainly not in my church."
Think again.
Take a moment and look around you in church next Sunday. Someone you know, love and consider a sister in Christ might go home with a man who hurts her. She may be cursed at, threatened, raped or beaten by someone who sits in the same pew, sings the same hymns and reads the same Bible as you do. Look around and see the faces of the abused, and the abusers.
I was one of those faces.
Not only did my church not help me, they condemned me for being a victim. Obviously I needed to submit more. Obviously I needed to pray harder. Obviously I needed to be a better housekeeper, wife, mother, etc. Obviously there was some kind of sin in my life that was leading God to punish me through my husband. Obviously... NOT.
If you're reading this right now and you're in a violent relationship, let me make this very clear:
There is NOTHING you did to cause this.
You do NOT deserve it.
It is NOT God's plan for marriage.
Dear one, you are a precious and beloved Child of God and He weeps for you. Get help. Please.
If you are reading this right now and you think it could never happen in your church, among your friends, let me make this very clear:
Statistics say you're wrong.
Domestic violence is not confined to the poor, the addicted or the unchurched. It is not confined to those who are not saved. There are genuinely-Christian men who beat their wives.
Thankfully, God eventually led me to a church family that was willing to see my pain and do something about it. Not everyone is so blessed. There are more churches like my first than there are like my second and the Christian community should be ashamed.
We must call sin a sin and we must be willing to take a stand. We sit in our homes and our pews and pretend that domestic violence isn’t our problem. The reason Christian men continue to abuse and degrade their spouses is because we allow them to.
Unless we are willing to be a voice for the helpless within our own Body, it is impossible for us to be a voice for the helpless in the world.
If you want more information about how you can help, or if you are in a violent situation and don't know where to turn let me know. I don't have all the answers, but I can point you toward people who do.
1 comment:
I came here via MckMama. Thank you for prompting her to post the beautiful poem she did this afternoon! Your entry to her contest was beautiful! I spent sometime reading almost your entire blog. I've been delving into blogs by people touched by domestic violence lately and specifically concerned about the power the church has taken in deterring, controlling, and crushing people affected by abuse. My husband and I have almost completely left the church. I love God, but I think he has a better plan for ymy life than some of the things I've experienced from church leaders. The interesting thing is that I have a degree in Bible and in Family Ministries and Christian Education. You are so incredibly right on with your blog...it is raw and yet rich, powerful, and refreshing.
On a different note, have you ever seen the movie - The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio?
I look forward to reading more from your blog. God does make beauty from ashes and he restores the broken hearted. I believe that even though it's chaos now, you have many beautiful days ahead with your precious children.
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